Wednesday, 2 December 2009


I haven't blogged for a while. What should I blog about?

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Top 30 Laidlaw Quotes of the Year

Thought out the year, I have been collecting quotes of funny or stupid thing which people have said. There has been a lot of demand for the list to be published. Here are the Top 30 quotes. Enjoy.

30. Emma: The Wellington Phoenix: Are they rugby or cricket?
29. Tom: To get a bus from here to town I had to walk to Hamilton
28. Steven: if you can kiss a live pig, you can kiss me.
27. Brie: Nathan is a crusty old man trapped in a young person’s body......
26. Rebecca: It’s hard to be a benefit in New Zealand, unless you go through WINZ.
25. Morgan: We will not prevail!!!!
24. Ben: I trust in the powers of Hollywood.
23. Laura King: He might be an excelian, of he might be an intelligent person.
22. Jess: Emma loves wetting her pants.
21. Ben: The whole crowed both go wild!!
20. Brie: You should have a joint.
19. Laura: Could you live in Auckland? Nathan: I do live in Auckland.......
18. Lara: I don’t believe in time.
17. Elizabeth: I’ll go on a witch hunt. It’s what Christians do.
16. Sarah: It’s fundraising for Hebron Christian School. Aaron: What’s that, a cult?
15. Nathan: What’s up with you Hebron girls? You’re all so motherly.
14. Christine: I hate salvation.
13. Rob: This is Bible College: we don’t have sympathy.
12. Lara: Do you think that these cars looks like ostrich toe nails?
11. Peter: We don’t kiss the opposite sex at Laidlaw.
10. Sebastian: Three easy steps to destroy a church. Number One: Say that worship is more than just music....
9. Lara: Doctors and nurses and other people who don’t know anything.
8. Christine: I’m allowed to be pathetic, I’m a girl.
7. Christine: Welcome to Female!! We don’t do logic.
6. Nathan: (to Elizabeth) I’m probably more of a feminist than you.
5. Laura King: Nathan is like a Ken type where as Peter is like a Barbie that you’ve turned into a man.
4. Jody: There is nothing about lying in The Bible.
3. Sarah: But there are no people in my bed.
2. Angus: How do you get to Liquor Dick?
1: Elizabeth: Boys are better than girls.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

You know that your a Laidlaw theology student when....

40 signs that you study ( of used to study) theology at laidlaw College

1. You wake up at 4am with a sermon idea, and then lie in bed preaching to yourself for two hours.
2. Before your six kids go to sleep, you read them a bedtime meta-narrative.
3. You go to movies, and see the Christological themes, even if they are not there.
4. You are living with the kingdom is now, but not yet tension.
5. Tom Hank reminds you of Rod Thompson.
6. Turn your eyes upon Jesus reminds you if Rod Thompson
7. You used to have an open mind, now you’re a cyanic
8. You relate everything back to the big story
9. You have no secrets.
10. You put everything into context
11. You have a picture of Mark Strom on your wall
12. You have a picture of Angus on your wall
13. You spend most of your time writing essay, watching DVD’s or on Facebook.
14. You dislike Hillsong.
15. You recognise Angus’ butt.
16. Every word you use end in ism or ology
17. You speak Greek or Hebrew better than English
18. You came here to find a spouse. (Laidlaw: Love And Interment Dating Leads to A Wedding)
19. You wish Bill Osborne was your grandfather
20. You sleep three hours per night, and have dreams with biblical allegories’.
21. You got rid of your old clichés, and now you have new ones.
22. Mark Keown is your favourite lecturer.
23. Your favorite book of the Bible is Song of Songs.
24. Your favorite TV channels are Aljazeera and C4
25. You call procrastination "enjoying creation."
26. You are look forward to creation being renewed.
27. You are constantly depressed, but you call it groaning with creation.
28. Your favorite preacher is someone who died many years ago.
29. Your greatest aspiration is to be a martyr.
30. You think that eschatology is the new black.
31. You learn how to start arguments about things nobody knows about.
32. You think incest is natural, as you can marry your brothers and sisters in Christ.
33. Changing the world is about justice, mercy and social transformation.
34. On Facebook, you are a member of the Mark Strom Appreciation Society, the Rod Thompson Appreciation Society, Keown's Fanclub, as well as the I Appreciate Christian Pick-Up Lines groups.
35. You have read Olson, Erickson and Grudem.
36. You read the Bible literarily.
37. You realise that many people have an over realised eschatology.
38. You see the underlining worldview assumptions in TV ad’s.
39. You know that you will find it all on moodle.
40. You are growing a faith which is both courageous and intelligent.

Thanks to those who helped me come up with these: especially Peter, Laura and Rebecca.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009


I have added all my TSCF quotes (or most of them) to

I have Laidlaw ones too, which I might add at some point....

Thursday, 6 August 2009

Rugby should be an olympic sport!!!

If you agree, sign the petition here:

Monday, 20 July 2009

Parachute 2010

Bands confirmed so far:

Falling Up
Family Force 5
Hillsong United

That is the final line up.
Bands rumored to be coming, which it seems, are not


The speakers are: Mike Pilavachi (UK), Paul de Jong (NZ) and Matt Fielder (Aus)

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Why Theology is the most important subject.

So, this what various fields of studies really are, in order for lest important to most important.

Commerce\ economics: The study of how to misuse the resources of the world God gave us to satisfy individual human wants, rather than the needs of humanity as a whole.
Science and Mathematics: the study of the world which God created.
Humanities: the study of the creatures which God made in his image to rule of the the world he created.
Theology: the study of God.

So there you go: Theology wins. Although given we live in a post modern world, what is truth anyway......

Friday, 15 May 2009

Turns out that “The Church” is a building after all....

Okay, so before you label me a heretic, hear me out. So I’ve been read 2 Samuel, the bit where David wants to build the temple for God. But God says; through the prophet Nathan in Chapter seven:

“‘The LORD declares to you that the LORD himself will establish a house for you: 12 when your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom. 13 He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. 14 I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with the rod of men, with floggings inflicted by men. 15 But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. 16 Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me]; your throne will be established forever.' "

In other words, David wants to build God a house, but God said “No, I will build you a house,” Which I thought is pretty awesome. We come to God with the things we want, trying to “do good,” yet God turns it around and makes it into something even better!!

And today, I was reading Ephesians and 1 Peter, and here are few verses for them:

"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. (Ephesians 2: 19-22)"

"As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says:
"See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a chosen and precious cornerstone,
and the one who trusts in him
will never be put to shame."Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe,
"The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone, and,
"A stone that causes men to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall."They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for. (1 Peter 2: 4-8)

Now, traditionally the promise to David has been thought to have bean fulfilled partly by Solomon, but also more fully by Jesus. Yet these passages from the New Testament are using the analogy of the temple for the Church. So in that sense it could be said that the church is in fact a building, albeit a spiritual one.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

New Names for our Islands?

There has been a bit of controversy in the last few days about the names of the North and South islands. Apparently they are not official. So they want to change them. This is fair enough, because they are boring.

But here the thing. They want to use the original Maori names. Which is also fair enough in once sense, since they were the first people to arrive. But here’s the thing. Almost all of our place names reflect New Zealand’s past. Which I’m all for celebrating and remembering. I did a degree in history.

But would it be cool to pick some names which celebrate New Zealand as it is today? Wouldn’t it be great to make a statement about who we are today?
Just a thought. Any ideas?

Bill and Ben Island?
Fush and Chups islands?
Middle Earth and Narnia Islands?
bret and jemaine Islands?
Union and League Islands?
Phoenix and Warriors Islands?
Black Singlet and Janell Islands?
Jaffa and Pineapple lump Islands?
Kiwi and Tui Islands?
L&p and Pavlova Islands?
Scrum and Line Out Islands
Footrat flats and Fred Dagg Islands
She'd be right and Yeah, right Islands!!!!! ( or maybe Good on ya, mate for the Island!!!)
Gumboots Island and swandri Island
Wild Pork and Watercress Islands
Hokey Pokey Ice cream and Chocolate Fish Islands!!
Sand fly and mozzie Islands!!
mcgillicuddy serious and the National Party Islands
Batting and Bowling Island
The slice of Heaven Above and We don't Know How Lucky we Are Islands
What Now and Country Calendar Islands
No.8 fencing wire and barbed wire Islands
Split Ends and Crowded House Islands (maybe we could even get away with Mumsdollar and the lads Islands ;))
Meads Island and Umanga Island
Rogernomics and Ruthanasia Islands
Hillary and Rutherford Islands
Or we could one Waikikamukau Island, so It will be a real place!!!

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Isaiah and Jonah: A tale of two Prophets.

I was stuck today by the great contrast between two of the Old Testament prophets: Isaiah and Jonah.
Isaiah saw a vision of God, And when God asked “"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" Isaiah said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah Wanted to go and do God’s will, to speak Gods word, spread Gods messages. Yet God told him to say,

"Go and tell this people:
" 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
be ever seeing, but never perceiving.'
 Make the heart of this people calloused;
make their ears dull
and close their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed."

When asked for how long, God said

Until the cities lie ruined
and without inhabitant,
until the houses are left deserted
and the fields ruined and ravaged,

until the LORD has sent everyone far away
and the land is utterly forsaken. (see Isaiah 6)

I don’t know about you, but I think that I would find that a pretty sucky kind of commission: "Go preach my words, but no one is going to repent.”

Yet in contrast to this, when God told Jonah “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you," Jonah Runs away. He didn’t want to speak God's message. Yet when He finally did, the whole city repented and turned to God. And then guess what Jonah does: he goes off and sulks. I mean, came on. Nineveh was one of the most powerful cities in the world at that time. Think New York or Shanghai or London, the whole city, turning to God, after one guy goes and preaches there. That’s the kind of responses we dream about!! Yet Jonah goes and has a wee cry in the desert.

What’s going on here? Why is the guy who is saying “send me, God!!” getting told, “go preach it brother, but no one’s going to lessen,” yet the guy who doesn’t even want to go, who tries to run away, get possibly the greats response to God's message in human history?

Sunday, 19 April 2009

the beatitudes: remixed

I was thinking what the beatitudes would look like if someone came up with them based on how The Church looks today (Or at lest what came’s across from some parts of the church in the west today.) Maybe they would go something like this:

Blessed are the spiritual,
for their spiritual experiences bring them close to God.
Blessed are those who are happy,
for they will live a fulfilled life.
Blessed are those who help themselves,
for the world is their oyster.
Blessed are those who know that they are righteousness,
for they know that they are going to heaven.
Blessed are the tough on crime,
for obviously they have never done anything wrong before.
Blessed are those who know Jesus in their heart,
for the heart is good, but the mind is corrupt.
Blessed are those who are anti abortion, pro“family values” and pro smacking,
for these are the issues that God is clearly most interested in.
Blessed are those who are not persecuted,
for if God was blessing them, why would they be persecuted?

Or if we twist it around the other way:

Down with the poor in spirit,
for it’s their own fault that they are poor.
Down with are those who mourn,
for they should get over it and harden up.
Down with the meek,
for its people who have it all together we need in this world today.
Down with those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for if they just gave 10% of their income to the church, they would be fine.
Down with the merciful,
for people need to repent before they can be shown mercy.
Down with the pure in heart,
for they must be self-righteous.
Down with the peacemakers,
for they are totally unrealistic.
Down with those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for they haven’t tolerated other peoples beliefs.

Let’s remind ourselves of what Jesus actually said (Matthew 5: 4-10):

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Anyone see the contrast?

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Pi Day, yesterday.....

Yesterday was Pi day. March 14th. I missed it :(
That’s Pi as in the mathematical term pi. Not Pie day as in a day to eat pies, which would be fun. Or pie day an in a day to "pie" people (cream pie in the face) which would be fun, and dangerous. Although so would a day for eating pies, now I think about it......

Ok Nathan, get back to study......

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Saturday, 28 February 2009

Auckland: After one week.

Well, I’ve now been in Auckland for a week.

Auckland and Wellington both have the same weather pattern: fine and sunny during the week and raining during the weekend. The difference is that in Wellington the rain comes with wind, in Auckland it comes with humidity.

"Summer school" was okay. I really only did it because I figured it was the best way to met people. And I was right. I’ve meat some really great people here and some really interesting ones too. One guy biked and skateboard around the world. In fact, is in the presses of applying to getting it recognised as a Guinness world record. Here his website. . Another guy was in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe movie. Although I’m a bit disappointed that I’ve only managed to collect one quote so far...... Have to work on that one.

I've done lots of exciting things as well. We went to an outdoor movie the other night, which were lots of fun. Also went to a drive out to Owera way and to a gig Friday night. There is a bowling alley just a couple of doors down, which we tried out one day after class. The Pac n Save across the road claims to be the largest supermarket in New Zealand, which is great.

So the first week at Laidlaw was great. Classes proper start this week. Looking forward it.

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

1st day at laidlaw.....

What I learned on at 1st day at Laidlaw ("summer school"):
The Bible is the norming norm.

Question of the day: Do smiley’s count as punctuation?

Friday, 20 February 2009

Nathan goes over to the darkside......

For those who didn't know, I'm off to Auckland to study Theology at Laidlaw College this year. So big changes for me. New city, new church, new job (hopefully), new people, new weather. But I will still be supporting Wellington sports teams: The Hurricanes, Phoenix and Lions. I leave tonight: were driving up, but only going as far a Taupo tonight. So this is goodbye to all you awesome Wellingtonians out there. I’ll be back....just don't know when. I'll try to keep this blog updated more than I have been- so more than once every couple of months. And you can always Facebook me, Twitter me, text me, email me...... you can try to bebo me too, but I don’t check it that regularly, so I might not see it for a while. Or you leave a comet here. And if you want to send me something via snail mail you can send it to

Nathan Bayliss
Private Bag 93119
Waitakere 0650

Don’t put "Laidlaw College" on it; it apparently confuses the posties...

Thanks for the support. And if you can pray for me too that would be greatly appreciated.

Monday, 16 February 2009

this is stupid........

Nathan is blacked out: Stand up against "Guilt Upon Accusation" for New Zealand

This is a stupid law. Read more about it at the website.

Thursday, 29 January 2009

Parachute 2009

Here is some highlights form Parachute 2009.

Best road trip moment: Hot pools and river swim at Taupo on the way back. We ended up stay Monday night at Tuapo. It was great.

Funniest road trip moment: Reliant K’s song (or two songs) about five Iron Frenzy.

Craziest late night antic: lots, but I’m going to give it to the time a group of about twenty people ran out to a stall and stated charring, then singing “ o lay o lay o lay...” They were soon joined by a number of our people, include Even and myself...

Best game I randomly joined in playing: The toss the can around game Saturday night. Who would have thought a can would be so much fun!!!

Best speaker: None of them were overly awesome that I went to, although to be far they were aimed at a lower level than what I would like. Chris Hill would be my pick of the ones I sore.

Best non music event: “backyard cricket” game between Kutless and family Force 5 versus some randomly selected punters. It was hilarious.

Best free giveaway: free Ice blocks to supportas!!! Yeah. Although since we give them money throughout the year, it’s not technically free.

Best mainstage ad: Life FM. Have you ever wondered about pirates? What’s up with those guys?

Best instrument played: David Crowder from David Crowder band played a guitar hero controller for one song. AWESOME!!!!!

Best chorus: Goes to Tome 39!!!!
I’m singing to annoy the neighbours
Head banging does my brain no favours
I’m sorry that I smell so bad
But I’m having fun
So please don’t be mad

Best one liner from a song: “hold on, wait a minute, put a little love in it. Love Addict,Family Force Five

Best instructions given by a band
: Casting crowns got us to tell our neighbours that “I love you, but you’re not cool. So that we don't think we are too cool to worship God.

Best up and coming act: No question: The Israelites. They were on debut stage Tommo 39, and they were awesome. And they were young as. The drummer looked like he was only about 8 or, and the others would have been no older than 14.

Best New Zealand Act: hard call: Rapture Ruckus, Mumsdollar, Late 80’s Mercedes were all awesome, and Dave Dobbyn was cool as well, especially the last three songs he did. I’m going to say Mumsdollar, but there’s not much in it.

Best Stage show
: Family Force 5. Great songs, great costumes, great stage presence and moves, awesome.

Most focus on God: Casting Crown. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a band that has so obvious bean more about God then there music. They even said the unthinkable at Parachute “music’s not going to change the world.” Very refreshing.

Best overall Act
: Again a hard call. David Crowder Band and Casting crowns were both awesome, and both really focused on God. Family Force 5 has some great song and one of the best stage shows have seen. But I’m going to give e the award to Kutless. Great music, awesome act, really focused on God. And they had two sets, and they were only about two songs which they played it both.

So next year? Well, it’s going to be Parachutes 20th Birthday, so they are planning a big one: they are expecting 30,000, so hopefully some big acts. No word one who they might be, although they said they were hoping to get a circus on site.
My picks: They will need to have ether third Day or Delirious? to headline Sunday night, maybe both? Probably one or two other really big bands: so Toby Mac and the Newsboys. I’m also going to say that they will have Family Force 5 back, Falling Up, Paul Colman, now he’s not with the Newsboys anymore. The Lads and Detour 180 will come back too.