Monday, 4 March 2013

Better late than never... Top 60 Laidlaw Quotes for 2011

So, as some of you may know, when I was at Laidlaw, I had a habit of collecting funny quotes which people said. Here is the top 60 quotes for 2011 (minus the others which I decided were too incriminating to publish.) Sorry that they are now over a year out of date, I kind of forgot about them. Hope you enjoy then!

60.Nathan: there are no forks. Amber: Forkward….
59. Bianca: I’m just laughing at you.
58. Nathan: So not much is happening here. Naomi: Not really. We’re just cooking in the shower.
57.Phil: Aren't elephant’s matriarchal societies? Naomi: You will fit in then.
56. Amber: Totes.
55. Melissa: James, he was the sexy evil one. 
54. Alice: Man I would really care what you think if you were my friend.
53. Naomi: I don’t try to be mean, it comes naturally.
52. Amber: Boys should have mirrors. Then they wouldn't be so ugly.
51 Phil: I prefer the bigger mirror: so I can see more of me.
50. Nathan: It can’t be a church service: we didn't sing anything by Hillsong.
49. Sarah: We went on a cruise…..on the ferry…. to Devonport.
48. Nathan: Don’t want to be a Canadian Idiot… Tom: Flip, no!!!
47. Amber: Totes!
46. Naomi: I don’t really care about you.
45. Jared: your face is the theology of suffering. .  .
44. Hannah: Jesus is not relevant.
43 Laura: Talking to you is a waste of my natural responses.
42. Roland: If you don’t add me on Facebook, then we will be friends undercover.
41. Nathan: Why would I stalk you online when I could stalk you in real life?
40. Laura: Are you stroking children again? That is cute!
39. Kent: (right after a fart) that sounded like people dying. 
38. Laura: I feel bad about killing my family. Daniel: Yeah, you shouldn't do it.
37. Amber: Jared, you are a loin fruit.
36. Naomi: According to this, I can go down K Road and look at Thingies.
35. Nathan: We should go there for lunch one night
34 Naomi: For that you will need a broom broom.
33. Sebbie: If you died tonight, you will be in soul sleep…
32. Amber: Totes builds people up, it brings people together.
31. Phil: Amber just earned her salvation
30. Amber: Totes!!
29. Naomi: I don’t like the idea of other people living.
28. Nathan: Maybe you should be losing faith in humanity.
27. Roland: life is like an action movie. Richie: It’s a pretty boring movie. Roland: You’re in it.
26. Al: I think you need to watch it; otherwise your laptop is an instrument of sin.
25. Ben: You should watch the books.
24. Gulia: Praying mantises are sexy.
23. Phil: you’re the type of person we get in the Salvation Army: crazy.
22. Amber: Totes!!!
21. Nathan: Be evil to infants.
20. Sarah: Nathanus removius!!
19. Roland: I've finished my exegetical, so now I’m going to talk about girls.
18. Roland: I don’t think women are ignorant, I just think that they remember selectively.
17. Amber: Totes inapprops!!
16. Roland: When I kiss girls they cry… wow!
15. Laura: Women are sadistic.
14. Naomi: We have to be aware of our bodies and be dickheads.
13. Christine: Have affair with me. Luke: I’m Not Gay. Christine: I’m a Chick.
12. Laura: you are glowing with health. Phil: are you pregnant?
11. Amber: Most people in my family have babies when they are in their teens, but I’m breaking the tread. Josh: Nek minnit…
10. Amber: I want a bat to poo on my face.
9. Jared’s friend: I just need to go to the bathroom. Jared: You can use my bedroom if you want.
8. Laura: I’m just going to eat this cookie… Nathan: and buy those shoes!!
7. Ash: I didn’t do anything dodggy. Christian: What do you mean?! Why not?
6. Amber: Is there an adult My Little Pony?
5. Jared: If you think bestiality is cute, then yeah.
4. Laura: I don’t believe that, but I like Jesus and you like Jesus, so let’s Party!! Untst untst untsts…..
3. Christine:  I’ll be your nurse for the next few weeks. I’ll even wear the costume for you.
2. Jared: your mind is like a drank. It feels comfortable in the gutter.
And the number one Laidlaw quote of 2011…      

Amber: Totes!!!!!!!

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